Fashionista Friday's Day Off



Courtesy of Stuart Miles; FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Sorry, people.  I am just not feeling it today.  Got a few things going on with my kids and their dad and whatnot and I am pretty much balled up about it, and I've got to spend the morning on my knees talking to my Father in heaven.

I know you'll understand.

Thanks for stopping by today; I'll 'see' you Monday!

"Thing About" Thursday: The Thing About Reality

Courtesy of Victor Habbick; FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Fantasy vs. Reality

I have fantasies all the time.  Every morning, noon and night.

Get your minds up here, with me, please.  I fantasize about all I'm going to do in a day.  My fantasy day would look something like this:

5:00-6:30 Up, jog, shower, dress, bed made, get girls up

6:30-7:00 Breakfast and girls off to school

7:00-7:30 Blog - I've got to get this done early since I have millions of followers, generating passive income so that my days are full of taking care of my children and not worrying about trying to fit in for-pay writing or my part-time job....

7:30-8:10 Get BubbaB8 up and fed and off to school

8:10-8:45 Get NuggetizerB5 up and fed and off to school

9:00-9:30 Clean up breakfast and kitchen, including floor.

9:30-11:20 Clean entire house.  No need to organize it, because it's already perfect.  (ha ha)

11:30 Pick up NuggetizerB5

11:40-12:00  Healthy lunch with NuggetizerB5, we discuss his school activities

12:00-3:00  Educational activities and outdoor play with NuggetizerB5.  I squeeze in a load or two of laundry...no need for more than that, since I'm always caught up on laundry.  We also bake cookies, which are fresh and coming out of the oven at 3:00 when....

3:00 Girls arrive home for yummy homemade cookies (which are, of course, gluten and sugar free and fabulous!)  We discuss their day together and laugh heartily at some funny occurrence.

3:30  Girls begin homework, with joy and pleasure over more learning!

3:40  BubbaB8 arrives home and we enjoy cookies and discuss his activities with similar joy I shared with his sisters.

4:00 BubbaB8 does his homework, thrilled to complete it in its entirety and safely tuck it away in his school bag, ready for the next day.

4:30 We all head outside to play basketball, ride bikes, and frolic in the yard together.  The kids support one another and cheer for each one in turn, hoping for the best outcome for each individual, knowing that every person's joy is the family's complete joy.

5:00  I start dinner while the children continue to play.  A beautiful meal is soon on the table, which is set to perfection because every day is a special occasion!

5:30 My darling love is here by now, and if it is a day for his children to come over, they are here as well.  We all sit down to a lovely dinner, happy, content, enjoying the food and the hard work that went into working for the groceries, into shopping for, planning for, and storing the ingredients for the meal, and the work that went into preparing it.

6:30  It's a long dinner because we just can't stop talking and laughing and enjoying one another.  All of the children jump up, arguing over who will do the dishes, and they quickly settle it and all join together, knowing that many hands make light work.  My darling love and I take a few minutes for an evening walk together, knowing if we make little moments, our love will be healthier for it.

7:00  Depending on the weather, we join together to play a game outside or a board game inside.  On a rare occasion a special tv show will be watched together.  In this fantasy, the tv is rarely on.

8:00 The day begins to wind down, each child bathing and preparing for bed in his or her turn, according to age.  They each settle sweetly into their beds, eyes fluttering to a close as I softly shut the door to their (perfectly clean) bedroom.

Are you laughing yet?  Sick to the stomach?  What?

P.S. If the above is already your life,

 Go Away!!  Congratulations!!

Here is my reality...and just in case you wondered, I wrote down my reality all day most of the day yesterday just so I could be completely mostly accurate.  The last time I wrote this down I had a lot more accomplishments, I don't know what has happened to my "accomplishing gene", but it appears to be missing.....

6:45 Overslept!!!!!!!  Jump (ok, stumble) out of bed and down the stairs...thankfully the girls are much more responsible than I am and are up, ready, and waiting for the bus.

7:00 I'm just going to lay back down for a minute....

7:45 Are you kidding me?????  Fell back to sleep...fly into the boys room....BubbaB8 gets up quickly, thank goodness....make some breakfast for him and get him on the bus....

8:15-8:45 Frantically work on blog while telling NuggetizerB5 to get dressed, intermittently getting his clothes out and helping with breakfast.

8:50 Click "publish" and take Nuggetizer to school.

9:00-10:30  Go to track and jog; leave track and go to grocery store

10:30 -11:00 Put away groceries, talk to sis, clean up dishes from breakfast, have coffee

11-11:15 Try to clean living room upholstery with Magic Eraser; don't ask; this twill furniture is the bane of my existence!

11:15-12:15  Shower, dress, lotion, make-up

12:15-12:45  Talk to my darling love while stripping bedsheets, put away my clothes, wipe fingerprints from walls all over the house for most of the conversation

12:45-12:50 Play on my phone

12:50-1:05 Laundry in/switch over/fold clean stuff

1:00-2:30  Bible study work

2:30-3:00  Write some notes in journal; laundry

3:15 Pick up Nuggetizer

3:35 Home....Bubba home shortly after....snack for the boys and change clothes

3:50-4:15  Outside with boys; their dad comes to get them

4:15-4:45  Fold and put away laundry; fresh sheets on bed; talk to my darling love

4:45 Go pick up girls from cheer practice

5:15 back home, boys get home shortly after, everyone's just chilling and playing, including me.  Clean up living room, wipe down sink and toilet, pick up random collected items on stairs, pick up dirty laundry from living room, make more coffee and drink it, pick out shoes to wear, freshen up, the boys ate with their dad and the girls grab some leftovers to eat.

6:50 Head to bible study - wait - have to get frustrated and wait for someone to get picked up - ok it's fine-chat with the friend's dad-then head to bible study

7-9  Bible study

9:00 Home.  My darling love's daughter is here to help the girls practice their cheers.  Lots of music and jumping ensues.

9:15-9:30 Battling the boys to get to bed, it's late, I'm tired and so are they.

10:00  Cheer practice is over.  I am heading to bed and see a little face full of tears in BubbaB8's room.  BubbaB8 is very stoic and if he is in his bed crying, it's definitely something big.  I go in and we have an emotional conversation about why his dad and I are not together and why he doesn't have friends over more and why I haven't taken them to the park and roller skating.  I finally roll into bed, certain of my failure as a mother and human being, and go to sleep.



I don't know what my point is in this blog post.  I was just thinking about how much I imagine I can get done and how I imagine being supermom and it so often does not happen.  I think I need to adjust my expectations a little.  Even as I read back through my "fantasy" day, it doesn't even sound like my fantasy looks in my head.

Whatever.  I'm going to go organize something.

What's Cooking Wednesday: Spring Flavor Party!

Spring is a lovely time of year, isn't it?  Even if it has been a mild winter like the one we just had, there is something invigorating about seeing the growth of new life, the casting off of gray, dull weather, and the welcoming of bright, colorful warmth.

I love spring.

You can bring spring into your kitchen by trying this ah-maaaaz-ing recipe from Rachael Ray.  As Guiliana Rancic would say, "Ah-maze-balls!" 

Springtime joy on a plate!

The combo of basil, mint, asparagus, pistachios....oh...the whole thing seemed slightly odd to me....but when I had my Cuisinart pumping and the scent of this marvelous pesto was wafting up through the opening, I was literally dancing with joy and anticipation of the mouth party I was going to experience.

Now do you understand why I can't make my life about just dieting?  I just have to run 10 miles a day.  Anyone who dances at the Cuisinart just can't stop cooking.

There are so many things I would like to try if I had the budget to just test and toss (when necessary); so many avenues I would like to explore!  I'm not super-inventive and I can't see myself working in a culinary position because I think it would make me insane if someone was telling me what to do in the kitchen, but maybe somehow I can channel this into a money-maker....

For now, I will keep hunting down recipes that are affordable and that my family will eat, and sharing with you!  Enjoy!

Oh!  Here is the link for the recipe:  Asparagus and Pistachio Pesto Pasta

Tightwad Tuesday: How to Spend Less on Vacation Activities

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"Mommy, I wanna play miniature golf!"

"Mommy, I wanna go to the water park!"

"Mom, I wanna go shopping!"

"Mom, I wanna go to the boardwalk!"

"Mom, I wanna....."

"Mom, I wanna...."

How can you mitigate all the "I wanna" requests, have an enjoyable vacation yourself, and not go into the red trying to appease all of the kids' desires?

If you are lucky enough to take a family vacation, you probably book your accommodations many months in advance, maybe even a year ahead.  Start preparing your children at the same time!

What You Need

A jar, piggy bank, or some kind of container for each child

Envelopes, coin purses, or some portable means of taking money out and about while keeping it separated

Ground rules and guidelines

How It Works
Each child saves money for the time period leading up to the vacation, depositing it into their container.

Money is saved according to the ground rules and guidelines (see suggestions below)

Money is taken on vacation and used for leisure activities and shopping outside the scope of the planned family activities

Suggestions for Ground Rules and Guidelines

Require money to be saved.  Kids are not born knowing how to handle money, and they need some rules to get them going.  Require that they save a portion of their allowance, gift money, or money from a job.

Consider a matching program, if it is in your budget, where you match the amount they save.

Make it competitive.  Some children will choose to save more, some will choose to save the minimum.  Check up on the amounts regularly and keep the competition going.

Give the kids some ideas of what they are working toward.  Google local activities for your vacation spot and get ideas about costs.  Kids can then look forward to what they are saving for.

Set the rules for what the money will be spent on.  For example, I might plan to take the kids miniature golfing one time during a week, but two or three of them may wish to go multiple times.  Explain that family activities and meals will be part of the family budget; extras will be out of their pockets.

Keep the money separated when on vacation and consider having one of the parents handle the money.  I think kids should be taught to be responsible, yes, but sometimes the excitement of new and fun things leaves responsibility flying out the window.  I have had children lose money and said, "Oh well" and I believe that's a fine response, however, I think it best to try to preserve the fun and relaxation of vacation time by doing what's easiest. 

Put another way, use the time leading up to the vacation as teaching time; use the vacation as time for fun!

Above all, relax and enjoy yourself and each other!  Try my tips to take the hassle and bugging out of your vacation.  Your response to requests can simply be, "Do you have enough money?"

I love that!

Monday Motherhood Musing: Mother's Day

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Happy day after Mother's Day to all!

Mother's Day this year was weird for me; completely weird.

I have always deferred to what my mother wanted to do for Mother's Day; as far as I can remember, it was never what I would choose myself.

I grumbled about this when my mother was alive.

I thought Mother's Day should defer more to mothers with younger children; that grandmothers should still be included but should pass the baton of choosing the day.  I grumbled about having to pack up my kids and travel to restaurants in the city where parking was difficult and food prices were high.  I grumbled that I just wanted to stay home and relax.

Last year on Mother's Day was probably the first year since 1998 that I did not grumble about Mother's Day; my mother was deteriorating quickly at that time.  We did not know that her end was coming, but we did know that it wasn't good.  Last Mother's Day we all spent in her hospital room.  We brought lunch and my sis brought a laptop and movies for the kids.  I didn't complain, for the first time in 13 Mother's Days.

When my mother died in August, the guilt over my Mother's Day grumbling hit me like a giant football thrown straight at my gut.  I've had a very hard time getting over my guilt about this behavior.  I think I've mostly moved on from it now; I've prayed about it and repented for being a brat because, well, that's what I was being.  A brat.

Be careful what you wish for! 

Yesterday, I had freedom.  I could have chosen whatever I wanted for Mother's Day activities.  I could have had a day without kids.  I could have had a day to go out and run around to where ever I pleased, with or without them.  I could have locked them all in a room with me and forced them to snuggle me all day long.

Houston, we've got a problem.

My long awaited day had come.  My turn.

No clue what I wanted to do, or how I wanted the day to go.

The only thing I knew was that I wanted to go to church, which I did.

My poor darling love walked around on eggshells all day, trying to guess what I wanted.  Trying to guess that would have been a magic trick, because I didn't even know myself!

It was a miserable day.  We were both agitated and grumpy with one another.  I was grumpy because nothing I wanted to happen was happening.

Keep in mind I have no idea what the heck I wanted to happen.

By the end of the day, I realized what I am writing here....that because I never had considered what I wanted to do, I had no idea.

Here's what I figured out, finally:

• I'd like to be surprised in some way.  Like a lunch or dinner out, or giving me a book I've been wanting and taking the kids out so I can read it.
• I liked not having to make dinner as part of Mother's Day (my darling did go out and get food for the grill and cook! Yay!)
• I'd like to have some plantable flowers or a hanging basket as a gift (I got a pot with spearmint planted in it.  Yay!)
• I like cards, bought or homemade (I got several.  Yay!)
• I like other presents too!  (Got a present! Yay!)
• I like taking an afternoon nap (Yep, did that too! Yay!)

So what did you do?  I might need some more ideas because I do not want to repeat this year's not knowing what I want ever again!