Scrapbook Saturday: A Break from Cooking Dinner

The problem with kids is that they want to eat.  Every night!

I recently saw a picture on facebook that depicted a silhouette of a woman with her hand to her forehead, and the caption read, "Why do they want to eat every night?"  I totally get it.

We hear all the time that we need to get kids involved in cooking.  I do practice this, but honestly sometimes I get aggravated when I am in my cooking-zen-place and the kids are mixing sauce right up out of the sides of the pan.  Hey, I'm human.  My kids get on my nerves sometimes (mostly when I am being selfish, I realize this...but again, I am human!)

I started doing MYO Pizza night and I love it!  You can do this by making your own pizza dough, or by purchasing it from a pizza shop, or by purchasing the individual pre-made crusts off the grocery store shelf.  Fresh is better for us, so I made my dough using my trusty bread machine.

We were in a clean-out-the-pantry-and-fridge mode early this week, so our toppings were sparse, but you could add anything the little hearts in your home desire.  Here's our paltry offering:

In case you were wondering, it is not as easy to shape dough as it seems when you see others do it.  What seemed to work the best for us was to roll it into a ball and flatten it, then move around the circle stretching it from every side until it was flattened out.  My daughter BananaG13 and her friend got creative and made hearts.  Here are some pics of the kids working:



And the finished products!  We actually had 5 pizzas but one was very thick and had to keep cooking, so I missed getting a pic of it.



Go have a MYO pizza night!  It's fun for everyone in the house, easy cleanup, and the kids love eating their personal creations.

Fashionista Friday: Paris Fashion Week

Art courtesy of digitalart; FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I just want you to know that I sit here typing this in a tee shirt and underwear, and my hair is sticking up to the sky like I stuck my finger in a socket.  It's not pretty.  I'm not feeling like a "fashionista" right now!

I thought about writing about underwear, bras, and fit today, but that sounds so boring to me.  It's Paris Fashion Week (Ready to Wear), so I thought I'd give you some links to catch up with what's going on in Paris....unless, of course, you are there attending.  In that case, I'm insanely jealous!

Spring/Summer 2012

If you need to catch up on what's here for the coming season, I found a great site where you can click on the designer's pic and see a photo gallery of the collection or a video of the show.  I'm loving Alexis Mabille in this one, but the song is extremely annoying, ha!  Here's the link:  http://www.modeaparis.com/

Fall-Winter 2012/2013

Here is a site that lists fashion shows around the world with their dates and places.  Fashion Calendar, Fall-Winter 2012/2013

I found a website that allows you to watch live!  I'm pretty excited about that.  I keep missing what I want to see, however, so I have no comments on the quality of the streaming.  The videos I watched on the site were fine, however.  Christian Dior is coming on at 2:30 p.m. Paris time, which translates to 8:30 a.m. here...and I have to leave at 8:40 for the school run.  I'm bummed.

Catch up with Nina Ricci in a Star photo gallery.  I'm loving the soft romance and comfortable vibe.

Some things are just stupid.  I don't understand the point here..and yes I understand fashion designers are about art, but this to me screams, "I wanted to do something really stupid so people would talk about me!"  Check it out:  Not fashion forward - fashion stupid!

Ok, I'm off to take care of the mess I am.  Have a beautiful day, and don't forget your lipstick!

Thoughtful Thursday: I Need Your Help!



Photo courtesy of m_bartosch; freedigitalphotos.net


I  have no deep thoughts today.  Today, I need your help.

Last night some kids were over at my house horsing around.  In my basement I have a large stroller that, quite frankly, doesn't need to be anywhere in my house; it's just one of those things I haven't gotten rid of yet.

All the kids came running to me, saying, "BeanzG11 broke NeighborBoy12's iPod!"

I did not know what to do!

I don't have the cash to replace this.

When I heard the full story I was unsure...am I responsible for taking care of this?

Here's what happened......

Apparently all of the kids were taking turns riding in this stroller and pushing one another.  Please, don't comment on this!  I'm aggravated about it too!

During this horseplay, my daughter BeanzG11 was one of the pushers and a boy from our neighborhood was the rider.  He's 12.  I have not yet checked to see if the stroller is broken.

BeanzG11 rocked the stroller back onto 2 wheels, like you would if you were stepping up onto a sidewalk.  Our neighbor boy had his iPod in the top of the stroller in the tray;  it fell out and the screen cracked when it hit the floor.

I feel kind of like all of the kids were goofing off and it was an accident of no one's fault.

I immediately offered to take it to the Apple store and see if I can get it replaced for no charge (hey, it's worth a shot!)

I was told by the kids that the mother of the boy was really mad and asked the kids if I was going to pay for it.  She has not contacted me personally though.

Please comment and let me know what you think.  Am I responsible for taking care of this?



What's Cooking Wednesday: Meatless Burgers

With grocery prices rising quickly and the rate of heart disease skyrocketing, eating less meat is on the minds of many these days.  Beans are a great alternative.  They are super filling in hungry tummies, plus boast high amounts of protein and fiber.

Several months ago, in search of recipes I could substitute for meat, I found one for bean burgers. Kidney bean burgers, to be exact. Yeah. You can imagine how wonderful they were, can't you?  I like beans and I love kidney beans in chili and other soups and stews, but as burgers...bleh.

Then, one day when I was in the mood for chili I realized I did not have kidney beans but I did have pinto beans, so I subbed those in; the result was great chili! I started thinking that pinto beans would make much better burgers than kidney beans.

Several weeks ago I came across a “faux” corned beef sandwich recipe. It called for pinto beans rather than kidney beans and claimed you would never know you were not eating beef.

Yeah. Right.

So I got a wild hair this week to try this recipe. I hadn't really read it through; I just ripped it out of the publication it was in and added it to my to-try list. I started reading the recipe after I had soaked and cooked my pinto beans for 3 hours total, in two different vats of water, so I was pretty committed at that point.

I saw all kinds of ingredients that I could not stomach on the recipe. Mayonnaise. Cocktail Sauce. Eggs.

Ew.

I soldiered on and decided to make my own burger recipe. It was fantastic!  Several of the kids liked it, including one of the neighborhood kids. I thought it tasted great.

The only thing I can say here is that trying to make one food into another is stupid. Eat a bean burger and like it. Don't eat a bean burger and whine about how it doesn't taste like beef. Of course it doesn't! Keep this mindset and you will likely enjoy it as much as I did.

Pinto Bean Burgers

Ingredients:

3 1/2 c. pinto beans, drained with liquid reserved (2 cans will do, 15 oz each)
3/4 cup dry bread crumbs
1 tsp. garlic powder
1 tsp. oregano
1 tsp. kosher salt

1/2 tsp. ground black pepper

olive oil
burger rolls and fixings of choice

Lightly mash 1 3/4 cups  of the pinto beans.

Mix all pinto beans, including the mashed ones and the whole ones, together with the remaining ingredients except olive oil and fixings.  Use reserved liquid from beans to add moisture as needed.  You want the beans to hold together but not be an overwet mash mess.

Pat the mixture into 8 patties.  I discovered that flatter is better.  The patties get a nice crisp on the outside and if they are a little flatter they get heat all the way through a little easier.  Shoot for about 1/2 inch of thickness.

In a skillet or on a griddle, heat the olive oil over medium heat.  Just enough to cover the pan is fine.  I tried to do it drier with just a cooking spray and the taste was not as good, plus they were too dry when cooked that way.  Some of the oil did get soaked up into the burgers; I just added more.

Pan fry burgers until the outsides are nice and crispy and they are hot all the way through.

***I did not enjoy these cold, so you may want to keep them warm in the oven if you are cooking quite a few. 

Serve with or without buns, with whatever fixings you normally put on burgers.



Cooking with Dried Beans

If you are starting out with dried beans, you'll need several hours. 
For this recipe, use 1 1/4 cups dried beans (about 1/2 pound).

First, rinse the beans and sort out any odd ones.  Then put the good beans into a pot with 4 cups of water.  Bring to a boil and boil for 2 minutes.  Cover and remove from heat, soaking for 1 hour.

Drain beans and rinse again.  Rinse pot.  Put beans back into pot with 3 cups of water.  Simmer for 2 hours or until tender.  Drain beans again, but reserve the liquid this time.

Continue with recipe above.


Well, who's going to try it? 

Tightwad Tuesday: Manicure Yourself

Today I'd like to help you save a little green on your beauty routine.  Some things just cannot be done at home unless you have proper training, however, some things are absolutely able to be done at home to save some cash.

I started doing my own nails many moons ago when I was single, childless, and had the cash to put out for professional nailcare.  However, I found that manicures were often less than I expected.  I had a lot of trouble finding someone who could satisfy me when it came to my nails.

I started doing my own nails, testing and trying until I got it right.

Now I'm old, have a house full of children and no cash.  My lessons are paying off!  I thought I'd share my method.

The biggest tip I can offer you is something that someone quite uppity (I can't remember who) said to me long ago...she said the difference between a professional manicure and a home manicure is all in the cuticles.

I found this statement amusing because I visited shop after shop, salon after salon in search of an excellent manicure and always some bit of polish was left on my cuticles.  After the most expensive manicure I ever got, my cuticles were actually painted over and the polish was bubbling like a hot spring.  It was awful.  I do have to say that the salon offered to have me come back for a free manicure, but I politely declined. 

I would have accepted a refund, but a free manicure?  If someone offered you a bucket of poo would you take it just because it was free? 

Didn't think so.

I've always remembered that statement though...I've always paid special attention to my cuticles when doing my nails, carefully moisturizing them and making sure to keep them polish free.

I used my daughter, BananaG13 in these pics for a couple of reasons.  First, she has absolutely lovely hands and beautiful shape to her nails and fingers.  Second, I was having a hard time figuring out how exactly to do my own AND take the pictures.  I know I'm not a great photographer, but no one else can picture the photos I have in my head and I am also a tiny bit of a control freak, so I had to take the shots myself.  Third, as soon as I started thinking about this blog post, all of my nails broke to shameful shortness.

 I'm not kidding.  You'll see.

To prove that it can actually be done on oneself with success, I did my own and have included a picture of my final product, but the pictures of the process belong to my darling guinea pig daughter.

Here we go!

The products: Cotton balls, nail polish remover, nail clippers, manicure stick, emery board, nail drying spray, cuticle oil, base coat, nail color of choice and my all-time favorite find in nail products,  Beauty Secrets Top Coat.

BananaG13's nails before we started.

 Remove color with nail polish remover.

Brush on cuticle oil.  If you don't have any, head to the kitchen and grab some olive oil. 

Trim nails as necessary with nail clippers, then shape with emery board.  BananaG13 made me cut her nails.  "They're just too long!" she sighed.  Aw, poor baby!  I would love to have her nails, alas, they get in the way of her guitar playing and annoy her.  So cut them I did.  Boo.

Gently push back cuticles at base of nail.  Please do not clip unless absolutely necessary.  The softness of the manicure stick is much gentler than a metal cuticle tool.  Get some, they're cheap.

Clean nails again with nail polish remover and cotton ball.  This gets the oil off the nail and clears any pixie dust left from using the emery board.  Paint with clear base coat.

 Paint with nail color of your choosing.  Try not to get it down to the cuticle, but don't panic if you do.  If it's heavy and gloppy on your skin, get it right away with just the manicure stick dipped in nail polish remover.  You don't have to clean it up perfectly.  We'll do that next.

 Make a cotton swab.  Anyone who has ever tried to clean up a manicure knows that a regular cotton swab is too fat for this.  Roll your manicure stick lightly on a clean cotton ball and the wood will grab the cotton as you twist it.  Just get a little curled around there.  You can remove it and re-twist as many times as you need to.

When you get some cotton on the stick, take your fingers in a pincing grasp and roll it around between them to cinch the cotton around.  This is the result...a flattened, skinny cotton swab.  That is exactly what you need!

Dip your homemade swab into the nail polish remover.  If it is sopping wet, press it against the inside lip of the bottle before using it.  You don't want a puddle of nail polish remover on your nail.  Then take your swab and run it around your cuticles to clean up any wiggles, etc. in your polish application.  You can pull off the cotton and re-make the swab as needed during this process.

Apply clear topcoat.  My absolute favorite is Beauty Secrets Top Coat.  It is absolutely ah-maze-ing.  I have tried a lot of products and to tell you the truth, when it comes to nail color I quite prefer the $2 bottles over the $10+ bottles.  When it comes to top coat, there is no comparison here.  This fabulous little bottle gives you a quick dry time and a super shiny finish.  I highly recommend reapplying it every day or two to extend the life of your manicure exponentially.

Optional:  Spray with aerosol quick dry.  You can get this anywhere.  This is a very cheap one and I see no difference between this one and others that cost 3 times as much.

BananaG13's beautiful nails!

My nails.  Goodness.  My hands are definitely much older and, well, squattier than my daughter's!  As you can see, my nail length is pitiful right now.  But, the manicure is neat and this is my dominant hand, so you can see it is possible to accomplish a beautiful look right at home!



Go and be gorgeously frugal today! 

Monday Motherhood Musings: Hearing Your Kids



Stubborn boy; courtesy of Arvind Balaraman; FreeDigitalPhotos.net


I am a big softie.  I do not have a firm enough hand with my children, this I know.  I've tried to shape up a bit after realizing the behavior of my youngest, who is 5, was more like the behavior of a 3 year old.

I started imagining him as a teenager.  It wasn't good.  I've started laying down the law a bit more heavily, well, for me.  In my quest to be a firmer-handed parent, I've stumbled a bit, but I'm learning.

I tend to be analytical.  I want to correct the behavior my child demonstrated, but I also want to consider and analyze what was behind that behavior. 

For example, my son BubbaB8 once came in from his dad's house and flounced into the living room chair with a big FLOP!  Gee, honey, is something wrong?  He was grumpy to everyone around him and not approachable at all.  He spat out insults at his sisters and brother and harrumphed and grunted at my admonishment.

I come upon this situation often.  Kids acting like jerks to everyone in the house, but I know like I know like I know that there is more to it.

I don't believe you can resolve behavior problems with discipline only.  You have got to be sensitive to and address the emotion as well.  The only way to get parenting "right" is to balance those two things.  I think I'm a pretty good mom, and I also think it is extremely difficult to do and very rare that people can do it well.  I'm not always in the doing it well category, but I'm striving for that.

Here's what I'm working on:

1. Always stop the damaging behavior first.
2. Butt out if the kids are just having an argument that can be resolved by them.  Butt in if the insults are getting horrific or if it becomes physically dangerous.
3. After a brief cooling down, go to the child in question and just sit with them.
4. SHUT UP.  That's me that needs to shut up, not the kid.
5. If possible, hold or physically touch the child in a comforting manner.
6. LISTEN.  Let the child say everything they want to say without response from me, except for the following affirmations of hearing them:

• Look into their eyes
• Nod or shake your head
• Say minimal confirming words, like "Oh!" or "Really?" or "Goodness!"

   7.    Absorb what you've learned and by all means do not try to fix their emotions.

If you haven't realized it already, this mostly has to do with hearing your kid out.  Also important is a great active listening technique to use with anyone in the world.  Everyone wants to be heard, and I firmly believe that until a child knows they've been heard, they are unable to muster the emotional strength to move on from whatever has upset them.  Being unable to move on retards their journey to emotional maturity, which will likely affect them more negatively throughout life than academic mediocrity will.


Active Listening

Actively listen to your kids by repeating what they've said back to them.  For example, BubbaB8 says, "The girls got to go shopping and get stuff and so did my stepbrother; I didn't get anything."  Ok, so the natural thing here is to realize that it might not have been exactly that way (and in fact, it wasn't!) but that doesn't matter to BubbaB8!  What matters is resolving the feelings about what his 8 year old mind perceived.  So, what is the right thing to do here? 

Reaction - Explain that the girls and his stepbrother still had some of their Christmas money left over.  Explain that it wasn't to be unfair to him, but that the giftcards he had left were not for stores they were in at the time.
Result - BubbaB8 continues to be miserable and mean to everyone after the talk and his resentment toward spending time with his dad and stepbrother grows.  Since he's home with his sisters, he can take out his misery directly on them right away so resentment doesn't grow, but the behavior is mean and spiteful.

Correct Response - Say to BubbaB8, "I bet you felt jealous."

YES, IT'S THAT SIMPLE.

Some more holding and snuggling and a few, "I'm so sorry that made you feel bad" statements is all that is needed.

Result - BubbaB8 feels heard.  BubbaB8 is 8 so he is not always able to put a word to his emotions, but he is capable of telling you if the word is not the correct one.  In this case, it was cut and dry and we got it right.  BubbaB8 is able to do what is necessary with emotions:  feel them and let them go.  Simply because you didn't try to talk him out of his feelings or explain his feelings away.


What about his rotten behavior earlier?

I didn't forget about that.  The rotten behavior toward everyone in the house should be addressed.  In this case, it didn't get into fights and was shortlived, so a short verbal warning after the emotions have been dealt with is all that is required.  Just keep it short.  Parents talk too much and kids tune out quickly.

What do you think?

I'd love to hear what your parenting issues are, if you use active listening, or what you think about anything in general.  Please, load up my comments section; I love hearing from you!

Soothe Your Spirit Sunday: The Act of Forgiveness

Butterfly Release courtesy of Salvatore Vuono; FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The act of forgiveness is a complicated one, isn't it?  Often people hold grudges or refuse to forgive someone who wronged them because they feel the wrongdoer should not be released from culpability.

Forgiving is not a release for anyone but you.  Holding on to hate, a grudge, or re-living wrongs done only harm you.  It takes a lot of energy to hold on to that junk in your mind and in your heart.

My first big lesson in forgiveness came in my early twenties. 

My parents divorced when I was a teenager.  It was difficult and life-altering, of course.  I always understood it though.  I understood it, yet I held on to some anger toward my father and then toward my stepmother.  I would get anxious when they were to come over; I would call my sisters and yap about it;  I would feel worked up and critical of words said during the visit.

My father used to work nights.  One morning, in the wee hours when no one normal was awake I had a phone conversation with my dad.  He expressed his feelings about the whole situation and I broke down crying and said, "Dad, don't beat yourself up.  I forgive you dad, for anything that has hurt me."

My life was forever changed from that moment.  I felt free.  I was free from anxiety and anger.  I was free to enjoy my father and finally let my stepmother into my heart.  It was then that I realized my act of forgiveness was something that was a gift to myself.

I realize that not every forgiveness takes place in a moment like mine.  I have had to forgive a lot since then; we all have a lot to forgive and forget.  Forgetting does not mean something never happened.  It does not mean you don't remember what took place.  It means you forget the negative effect that holding on to that junk has had on your heart.




The Wall; Courtesy of Dan; FreeDigitalPhotos.net


Here are my tips to begin breaking through the wall that keeps you from forgiving:

• Make a conscious decision to forgive.
• Pray about your decision.
• Remind yourself of your decision every time the anger, hurt, or anxiety rises up in you.
• Allow yourself to feel the freedom forgiveness brings and dwell in the release of those chains called a grudge.
• Stop talking about whatever wrong you are forgiving.  Stop telling your siblings, neighbors, friends and coworkers about it.  Start telling them something good; if they bring it up, say you have moved on. 
• Release yourself from being judgmental and remember you are a person in need of forgiveness as well.  The more you can forgive, the more forgiveness will be bestowed upon you. 
• Consider writing down your decision and your feelings about it.  A journal, blog, napkin, post-it...whatever.  Writing it down somehow makes it more real.
• Work toward saying to the other person, "I forgive you."  Do not hold on to this as a necessary step, however.  You can say it to yourself - sometimes you can't say it to the person.  For example, you may need to forgive someone you will never see again; you may need to say it to someone who has passed from this life.

I wish you all a wonderful Sunday and a life free from the chains of being unforgiving.  Work on it; the rewards are well worth the work. When you are able to forgive just one time the floodgates will open and you will find it becomes easier and easier.