Acceptance

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I was thinking, during church yesterday, about kids.  I have 4 at my disposal for daily study, so my brain is churning quite a lot.

Kids are absolutely amazing creatures.

I was thinking about the difference between the younger and older, and how they view themselves in light of acceptance by God and by other people.  I'm not sure if it's a personality difference or just an age difference, but take the youngest...

Nuggetizer is friendly.  Although when put on the spot by an adult or faced with interacting with a cute girl in front of his mommy he becomes bashful, in general he is outgoing and without reservation when approaching new kids.

I was thinking about this the other day...Bubba is 8 (almost 9!) and is usually very tough and stoic (read my post about his electrocution here.  However, when faced with riding in the car to football with a kid's family who I know but he barely knows, he actually cried.  Unusual for him, very unusual.

Nuggetizer, on the other hand, has gone to football and faced a playground full (I mean, like at least 25 kids there!) of random kids he has never seen, and before I can set up my chair and put my water down he has a trail of kids following him around and playing with him.  He randomly approaches other kids and invites them to play.

Definitely his father's son.

His mom has panic attacks about attending events where she will know only 1 or 2 people.  Yes.  That's me. 

I once went to a wedding with a boyfriend, and I knew no one.  No one.  After the wedding and before the reception, there was lag time and we stopped at his house.  I panicked at the thought of attending the reception, a much more social event than the wedding, and eventually shooed him off to attend alone. 

I'm not that bad anymore, but I still get very nervous.  It's gotten easier for me throughout my life because I realize that many people besides myself are nervous too.  If I can focus on making them comfortable, it takes the pressure off because I am no longer thinking of myself.

Many things in life can be fixed by taking the focus off of one's self.  That's another post for another day, maybe.

I am taking a very roundabout route to my point.

I started thinking about Nuggetizer's complete acceptance and assurance of God's love, of Jesus' sacrifice for us.  I don't think he, at his age, has ever said in his mind, "I'm not good enough for another blessing." 

How many of us adults have questioned our good-enough-ness in this manner?  I'm not the only one, I know it.

Nuggetizer just says, "Whoopeee!  Another blessing!  Alright!  Yeah!" And moves on with his life.

At what age do the devils of self-doubt, guilt, unworthiness and anxiety creep in?"

When do we start worrying about what others think of us?  When do we start thinking that we need to "deserve" our blessings, and letting doubt sway our thoughts?