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| Photo courtesy of Suat Eman; FreeDigitalPhotos.net |
So...who loves going shopping for swimsuits? It's so much fun to try on small pieces of fabric that leave no flaw camouflaged, isn't it? Fluorescent lighting just acts as the cherry on top of the sundae, doesn't it? It's amazing how some fabric, a dressing room, and the thought of going to the pool every day can make a 150 lb woman feel like she may as well be 1,050 lbs.
Well, at least that's how it feels to me.
150 pounds is perfect for me. I wear a size 6 at that weight. I like me at that weight. I'll never be a size 4 again, and I'm ok with that. My body has graciously carried and nursed 4 beautiful babies and marks have been left, but they are scars filled with memories and will always be precious.
I've decided I will go shopping for a swimsuit with pride at 150. I'm not half bad, especially stretched out, ha ha! I struggled with whether to share this picture, but I decided not to hide on my blog...So here I am last summer at the beach thanks to the generosity of my friend Neonatal Nurse Nancy letting me use her beach house:
I wish you could feel how my heart is pounding as I download that picture.
See, it's not me anymore.
This was taken in June or July? I can't remember.
I have gained 20 pounds since then. If I was even braver I'd go put my blue bikini on and take a picture today, but it was hard enough for me to post this one. Give me time.
Does anyone else need to get bikini ready? I do. I'd like to look at least like my picture here or better, if possible.
What are we going to do?
My Plan:
- Exercise 3X a week. Yoga does not count. I mean cardio.
- Yoga/toning 3X a week.
- Carb reduction - no whites - flour, sugar, rice
- No eating after 6:30 (or 3 hours before bed...I usually go to bed around 9:30)
- Edit this post to include a "now" picture (will have my darling love take one later today) DONE!!
What's Your Plan?
Ok, here's me yesterday, stretching that blue bikini to the limit:
Ok, here's me yesterday, stretching that blue bikini to the limit:
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| March 9, 2012. Twenty pounds to lose. |
7 comments:
Just thought I'd share with everyone that I talked to my Dad this morning about my lack of confidence that a bikini pic was ok to do here. So he opened up the blog and let out a frightened scream on the phone.
He's becoming quite the jokester!
Ha Ha Ha
Looks like a hot babe to me.
Women and their body image--I don't know if the fight over rational and irrational thought ever trully go away.
The amount of time and energy I spend on figuring out when to exercise, watching what I eat--is really silly. I know it, yet, I can't stop weighing myself, or looking at myself in my pair of favorite jeans to determine if they look any tighter.
That is funny, I didn't mean to be anonymous. I must have pressed it too fast.
@ Dad...I was a hot babe...it was really hot that day :P
@Charlene - It is crazy, isn't it? I have a lot of issues surrounding food that cropped up in my twenties. After never worrying about my weight as far as I can remember, in my twenties I had children and it became an issue.
I gained 96 pounds with my first child, and lost half of it with no problem. The other half has haunted me off and on through the years!!!!
Wow. Did you just say this was you LAST summer? As in like about 7 months ago. Well let me just say...awesome! Have no fear. You are bikini ready!! Even if you were 20 lbs heavier than that I'd venture to say you could still rock it!
awww, Holly, thanks.
A friend and I talk all the time about how everything is relative...to me right now, I feel really disgusting and scared.
A few years ago I lost 65-70 pounds on the "divorce diet", ha ha. Gaining 20 means gaining almost one-third of that back.
It's very scary to me and very depressing every day when my clothes don't fit.
I appreciate your compliment. I am striving to get back down from the edge of gaining back everything.
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